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How to Create a Successful Role-Play Experience
October 5, 2022
Creating a successful Role-Playing experience is really dependent on 2 things
:
1. the energy of the environment and
2 . your headspace stepping into the scene itself.
1. the energy of the environment and
2 . your headspace stepping into the scene itself.
1.
Energy
of environment that is conducive to good-quality role-playing must be palpable upon entrance into the scene
You feel the energy when you walk into the room and the energy is consistent with the scene that you've contracted beforehand. If you discussed role-playing a power dynamic, there will be a strong, confident and powerful energy in the room (
masculine energy
).
If you negotiated a role play scene of a novel one-night stand, there will be a bubbly, frenetic, excited energy in the room (
If you negotiated a role play scene of a novel one-night stand, there will be a bubbly, frenetic, excited energy in the room (
feminine energy
).
The feeling is quite different between the two, yet both are matched exactly with what was contracted between partners beforehand, eliminating uncertainty that can spike anxiety and disrupt energy flow between partners. We control the energy within our bodies. We have the ability to mold and reform it into different expressions that create various emotional experiences.
If you're struggling to create a certain form of energy,
visualize a moment in your past when you experienced a similar emotion / energy experience that you want to evoke now. Get deeply involved in the details of that past moment. The more detailed you get in the sensory experiences of that memory, the greater the chances of you eliciting the same energetic / emotional response (thank you mirror neurons!)
2.
Headspace
of each individual partner has to be clear upon entrance into the scene
You have effortfully cleared your mind of anxious-thinking of the future, worries of the past, and insecurities of the present. Embrace the truth that you WANT
You have effortfully cleared your mind of anxious-thinking of the future, worries of the past, and insecurities of the present. Embrace the truth that you WANT
to be yours, allowing the confidence of that ideal truth to exude through your role (whatever it may be).
Embracing a role that is different from who you are in real-life doesn't necessarily mean that you loose who you are, or that you're 'fake'. It very well may mean that you find your true self, because you aren't burdened by the heaviness, chaos, responsibility or expectations that your real-self has to manage on a daily basis. Your role-playing self is able to embrace a sense of freedom because of that lightness, which allows you to connect to a deeper you and connect to your partner(s) when you find your
flow state
together.
A
Flow State
is when romantic partners are so deeply present in the moment that the rest of the world falls away from sight and mind. This happens because you've allowed all of that hyper-filtering that we are taught from an early age to wash-away so that you can be a raw, vulnerable, imperfect version of yourself. There's beauty in that.
The beauty is your imperfection. The raw attraction that your partner(s) has in appreciating the raw, uncut-diamond version of you that no one else gets the opportunity to experience.
Role-playing offers an experience of self without mental filtrations, blockages, shadows, shells or insecurities brought upon by social norms, which can act as intimacy barriers between you and your partner(s). The freedoms that therapeutic kink can offer many people is a space to experience vulnerability and strength simultaneously; to explore different sides of yourself in a safe space (since we are all always evolving) and not feel confined by the expectations, demands or judgements of other people or ourselves.
Enjoy!
**
If you are new to role-playing, especially if the play involves expressions of Kink, please be aware the before any role-play scene begins, there needs to be a constructive dialogue between all play partners that reviews the basics of the scene. Use this site as a guidance for the components of pre-scene negotiation
.
Dr. Stephanie Bathurst, Ph.D, LCMFT
Sexologist, Therapist, Coach, Healer
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