The bathhurst family therapy logo is a heart with a rainbow in the middle.

The Ins and Outs of Trust

November 2, 2021
What is it ? When you google the definition of trust, a word that is often used so globally and so simply becomes a bit more complex with the definitional inclusions of ‘ character, ability, strength, or truth ”. Trust is a characteristic and belief more than it is a specific emotion, although most use it to describe the way they feel (or don’t feel) towards another person. 

How do we (re) build it? 

I will do my best to break this down into achievable goals. For some, Trust can be either earned or given from the start of a relationship. This philosophical difference is usually dictated by a person’s family-of-origin modeling, and what is familiar to them, as well as past relationships experience that has shaped their response in the now.
  • Trust can be shattered in a split second by decision and indecision / action or inaction, but to rebuild trust mandates time. The reason time is required is because rebuilding depends on the consistency of follow through with verbal promises made and subsequent observable actions to support the truth of those promises.
  • ​Depending on the severity or repetition of betrayal, the extent of trust disintegration can vary greatly from completely compartmentalized to the area of injury and  not affecting other areas of the relationship (trusting that a partner will be present and supportive if you are physically ill but mistrusting that they won’t communicate inappropriately with a coworker), up to global mistrust that bleeds into all facets of one’s connection. 
Picture
 “ Do what you say and say what you do
  If all is congruent, trust can rebuild!

What is Means to be Trustworthy

80% of our communication with each other is non-verbal
"Apathy is the antagonist of Love"
     - Dr. Stephanie P. Bathurst

Dr. Stephanie P. Bathurst, Ph.D., LCMFT, CKCT, CPLC

Board Certified Clinical Sexologist & Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

A woman smiling up at her male partner as they stand in the ocean at sunset
By Stephanie Bathurst December 21, 2024
Strengthen your marriage today by exploring our holistic tips on how to fix my marriage in '8 Holistic Approaches to Strengthen Your Marriage in Hawaii'.
A female marriage counselor meeting with a couple to treat infidelity and porn addiction
By Stephanie Bathurst December 9, 2024
Discover if you need sex therapy to enhance your relationship in our blog '10 Signs You Might Need Sex Therapy to Improve Your Relationship'.
By Stephanie Bathurst October 21, 2024
Beyond Kegels: Exploring Advanced Techniques in Pelvic Floor Therapy
Man and his partner sitting at the top of a mountain enjoying quality time after a hike
By Stephanie Bathurst October 8, 2024
Discover your perfect romantic getaway in Hawaii and Florida
A man holding his wife in bed after a successful virtual session with an intimacy coach
By Stephanie Bathurst October 3, 2024
Ignite the passion in your relationship with insights on intimacy coaching in '5 Ways Intimacy Coaching Can Rekindle the Spark in Your Relationship'.
By Stephanie Bathurst September 24, 2024
Rekindling Passion in Paradise: How a Couples Retreat in Oahu Can Transform Your Relationship
September 23, 2024
Understanding Online Couples Therapy
February 24, 2023
Intimacy Forms:Psychological - Feeling deeply understood at your core. Say you battle depression and when you have an episode flare up, your partner immediately adjusts the social calendar to accommodate your needs. When they look at you, without saying a word, you feel that they see your genuine self. This can sometimes manifest as spiritual bonding, as well. Physical - Physical affection exchange doesn't have to be sexual in nature and can look like embracing hugs, placing their ha [...]
October 5, 2022
​Creating a successful Role-Playing experience is really dependent on 2 things:​1. the energy of the environment and2. your headspace stepping into the scene itself. 1. Energy of environment that is conducive to good-quality role-playing must be palpable upon entrance into the sceneYou feel the energy when you walk into the room and the energy is consistent with the scene that you've contracted beforehand. If you discussed role-playing a power dynamic, there will be a [...]
September 8, 2022
Want to figure out a way to make the honeymoon phase of a relationship last forever? Practicing sex and relationship therapy for 13 years, I've helped partners level-up their happiness to have better sex and improve all 8 forms of intimacy in their relationship using my FLOW™ Formula process. ​ 8 Forms of Intimacy The world doesn’t have to be this dark, lonely place. You deserve to feel love, excitement and lust every day. Unless y [...]
More Posts
Share by: