The Ins and Outs of Trust

November 2, 2021
What is it ? When you google the definition of trust, a word that is often used so globally and so simply becomes a bit more complex with the definitional inclusions of ‘ character, ability, strength, or truth ”. Trust is a characteristic and belief more than it is a specific emotion, although most use it to describe the way they feel (or don’t feel) towards another person. 

How do we (re) build it? 

I will do my best to break this down into achievable goals. For some, Trust can be either earned or given from the start of a relationship. This philosophical difference is usually dictated by a person’s family-of-origin modeling, and what is familiar to them, as well as past relationships experience that has shaped their response in the now.
  • Trust can be shattered in a split second by decision and indecision / action or inaction, but to rebuild trust mandates time. The reason time is required is because rebuilding depends on the consistency of follow through with verbal promises made and subsequent observable actions to support the truth of those promises.
  • ​Depending on the severity or repetition of betrayal, the extent of trust disintegration can vary greatly from completely compartmentalized to the area of injury and  not affecting other areas of the relationship (trusting that a partner will be present and supportive if you are physically ill but mistrusting that they won’t communicate inappropriately with a coworker), up to global mistrust that bleeds into all facets of one’s connection. 
Picture
 “ Do what you say and say what you do
  If all is congruent, trust can rebuild!

What is Means to be Trustworthy

80% of our communication with each other is non-verbal
"Apathy is the antagonist of Love"
     - Dr. Stephanie P. Bathurst

Dr. Stephanie P. Bathurst, Ph.D., LCMFT, CKCT, CPLC

Board Certified Clinical Sexologist & Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

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